A NEW CHAPTER HAS OPENED
Updated: May 23
Have you ever just felt certain about something? Like you knew exactly where to go, with no rational reason, went and met someone relevant to you? Or just knew what to do with a certain amount of money and you did it and it was the right purchase or investment, and you can’t really explain how is it that you felt what to do? Have you had instinct... and won when you followed it? You might have felt lucky, or not-lucky if you did not followed that pulse.
But there is something more to luck. There is intuition.
INTUITION AT THE START OF MY ABDL JOURNEY
A single intuition is at the root of what I am about to tell you today. I have always been curious about everything and do not really believe in things I have not experienced. This includes my experiences as an ABDL carer, from the first person I was curious to start that journey with, to my most recent client. This is a story on how Therapeutic Regression evolved in a very personal way.
From the first moment when I decided to have a look at looking after the first ever little I met, I was curious. I can’t say I felt inclined to it. However, it was my relationship with that person that made me eager to get to know more about his world, and embrace where this would take us. I can’t say I was not a little bit scared and worried, as I did not understand it at that time, but I felt ready to give it a go as it was someone I trusted and cared deeply about.
Surprisingly, when the day came to start as a Mummy and little for the first time, I felt a sense of flow. I held his hand and led him, and I could feel like a part of me was doing it and another was watching what I was doing.
We played, moved around, dressed up, laughed, battled, cuddled, and I told him a couple of stories I knew. My conclusion was that the experience was more beautiful and emotional than I had expected.
Moreover, it wasn't scary at all. I still had no idea of the door I just opened and where it would lead me years later.
MISS MUMMY DEVELOPED HER PRACTICE
I am now going to make a big leap in time. I was delivering other professional activities related to wellbeing, and also opened my private ABDL care practice, delivering care to a reduced number of clients.
Through my arms and care there have been wonderful, adventurous people who approached me to get my attention on them, play with me and were ready to trust me. People… and let’s be specific, in their majority they have been men who were searching for something precious inside of them: from the need to reconnect with a motherly figure to the relaxed leisured time of being held in my attention and not having a care in the world, to a way to cope with a variety of difficulties that is not my purpose to describe here.
From them all, I have learned. I have nothing but gratitude.
After each session, during feedback time, we have had the most vulnerable conversations and open-hearted discussions.
There were revelations of what was very sensitive or covered up not to be said. I learnt about the many reasons for wanting to regress, both the rational explanations and the most irrational feelings. I also learnt about the bodies and behaviours of my clients, about the joy and the crying during and after sessions, as they allowed themselves to be vulnerable.
And then there was more.
I recognize that as I became more experienced, I needed to be in a special state of mind to be at my finest. Let’s say a state of awareness and connectedness. I made it my rule to meditate before every session to prepare my body and mind.
A NEW KIND OF MAGIC HAPPENING IN MY SESSIONS
After some months of this practice, some interesting synchronicities started happening during many of my sessions. Alongside, some clients experienced not just relaxation, but a state of bliss.
A number of them were recovering memories from their childhood that they had forgotten. Others would suddenly feel the need to reconnect with someone in their life they had lost track of. In many cases, the symbolic play they did during their sessions would give us a way to constellate and represent something that was happening in their life and needed resolution.
Now I understand how in a state of mind where you are as present as a baby (babies don't think about the past or the future, do they?) it would be easier that such events happen to the adult who is regressing, and in a gentle and playful way.
During those moments, I saw the world through the eyes of my clients and immersed myself in our play. They are all so brave to stand up for what they need. I honour that, and appreciate so much the fact that especially when they came to their very first session with me, they really had to overcome the fear of facing an unpopular activity, the perceived risk of visiting a stranger for it and many times, the guilt for wanting to perform something not accepted by others who would see them as outcasts, eccentrics, if not something worse.
But I am also eccentric, and very happy to meet them in that common space that is my nursery, which I had curated lovingly.
Some sessions contain a lot of movement and are very playful. Others are more quiet. In all of them the sensory aspects have been very important, and I curate this to the detail.
I FOUND A NICHE INSIDE THE NICHE INSIDE THE NICHE!
I have been observing more what happens during and after sessions. I can now confidently claim that if I was already delivering for a niche inside the niche… there is another niche inside the niche inside the niche! There is a small but significant number of clients who want to experience a regression and be in that mental space, but not particularly keen on behaving or performing as a baby. They are looking for an inner experience and maybe not fully aware of it, but I believe the quest is spiritual.
Those clients are more attuned to being received, enveloped by my energy, by the grounded serenity of an embracing motherly figure. “Play” was not needed, and I could cater for their needs by connecting with their energy body.
“This is something very deep for me” where the words one very special septuagenarian client during the feedback of the type of session I would deliver for him. I could certainly notice that it was, and how he was leaving my space feeling renewed from the inside out.
Some expressed that they had been looking for something "like this" for a very long time, but didn't really know what it was, so they had been trying everything they found available.
A strong spiritual connection was something I was familiar with. It was mild and deep, and it was happening in a bigger or smaller degree to these type of clients more attuned to it. I see it like if they where jars I could feel with water, and I could pour more or less water into them, depending on how empty and ready they where to receive it, or partly full, in which case I would deliver less of that experience, always respecting how much every person is prepared to receive.
I SURRENDER TO THE EVIDENCE
One day during a session, this spiritual connection was particularly strong. In terms of depth and strength, it felt like a complete, integral connection with my client. It felt like this person was prepared to receive fully, and searching for something with desperate thirst. At the same time, the jar was empty and giving, as there was a sound of crickets, instead of baby music.
I had experienced two other people in my life with whom I had an experience of a connection of a similar intensity, that I could call an altered state of consciousness. But that was in my personal life, it had never happened with a client before in the context of an AB session. It shook me! I must accept I was not understanding fully what that meant or why this had happened.
Now I get that it is possible to experience something of this kind when you have the sensitivity to connect with the other that way, and find someone who also has that capacity too, although it might have been unexplored. This type of deep connection and shared calm has the potential to be transformative, although I can see how if not understood or discussed with your carer, it can be somehow unstabilising, because after the session is over we both go on with our lives and such an intense spiritual experience cannot be reproduced in the same way. I understand it's always best to discuss it and to decide whether it is a good idea or not to continue sessions with that client, depending on how they can integrate the experience, and offer support. I am now able to explain it should it happen again. I had been able to explain it before to two other people, and they where able to understand it and integrate it, as we all learnt from it and grew with it.
If you ever experienced a deep state of bliss, connection and spiritual peace that transcends your mind and body, it is not just because of the other person: it is a capacity of yours. It is in your sensitivity to be able to feel this. It's your quest. And it can be developed in others, but I would never deliberately attempt it. It does not come from me, and I have just been a vehicle to facilitate it. It is an honour when it happens and it gives me the trust and resolution to continue searching, experiencing, being very accepting and wanting to see and feel things through my own senses, including my common sense.
It does not mean that you need me in any way. It probably means that you are as sensitive as I am, as intuitive as I sometimes believe I am. If you have never experienced something like that, perhaps it will give you an opportunity to reflect on the things that really matter in life. That is the depth of connection and what it can provoke.
This experience was to me, the hinge that opened the door to what it has evolved from Miss Mummy into Therapeutic Regression, that is launching in June as a website.
THE NEW CHAPTER HAS STARTED
Now, when I deliver Therapeutic Regression I feel like a part of me is there with the client in the physical world, and another is feeling like something sparks through me, as if I can deliver “mother” as a generic energy that has nothing to do with a biological mother, but as energy, mother as the earth, as nature itself.
I have developed other skills in order to create this distinct way of delivery, so I felt in need of creating a separate service for those more attuned to Therapeutic Regression. I use energy balancing techniques. I teach my clients to breathe, observe their movements and apply what I feel is needed from a range of tools that are not just recreative, but also for life.
WHAT ABOUT MISS MUMMY?
My dear playful and fun Miss Mummy will continue here, so this will be the only blog post mentioning Therapeutic Regression. ABDL play, care, pacis and nappies, pink and blue colours and a lot of dresses and fun activities are here to stay, but I am announcing that a new chapter has opened for me, and for those of you who have been looking for something of this kind, and inside the AB realm, even if you might not knew exactly what it was.
I will then say that Therapeutic Regression is the Spiritual side of ABDL, in the way I present it, as I followed… my intuition, and contrasted it with my and your experiences.
If you feel this could be for you or if you are curious about it, I am inviting you to visit my new website (which is not available yet, but will be accessible in June) at www.therapeutic-regression.com