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  • Writer's pictureMiss Mummy

WHEN THE REAL MUM WASN'T REALLY THERE (An issue that I encounter in SOME ABDL invididuals)


Early experiences, especially ones where your mum didn't quite come through, can seriously mess with how you feel and think, even as you grow up. Getting rejected by your own mother when you're little can create all sorts of effects that stick around for a long time. Now, wanting to be an adult baby is just one way these effects might show up, not the only way and not in everyone, but I thought I would reflect on this given that is an issue that I observe in some of the ABDL individuals that I assist.


They have explained to me that they have a sense of missed experience, or void, or lack, due to their mother not being present for them in their early years. This presence can be also understood as not paying them the attention and emotional support they needed, even if physically present. This has in some cases got them feeling in a variety of ways, that I will describe.


ABDL support

Feeling Not Good Enough: If your mum wasn't there for you, you might start feeling like you're not good enough or worth much. This can stick with you and make you unsure of yourself. The idea of being taken care of as an adult baby might give you a temporary break from these feelings, like you're getting the love and attention you missed out on.


Having Trouble with Relationships: Rejection in your early years can mess up how you connect with others later on. You might find it tough to build and keep good relationships. Wanting to be an adult baby could come from wanting that close and protective bond with someone, like a caregiver, that you missed out on.

abdl counselling

Running Away from Grown-Up Stuff: Being an adult comes with a lot of stress and responsibilities. If your early life was rough, you might want to escape from all that stress. Being an adult baby can feel like going back to a time when you didn't have to worry about adult stuff – a time when someone else took care of everything.


Difficulty with dealing with Feelings: Getting rejected early on can make handling your feelings pretty hard. You might end up with mood issues or not-so-healthy ways to cope. Being an adult baby can give you a structured way to deal with your emotions, just like how caregivers help regulate emotions in real babies.

abdl emotions

Trying to Find Yourself under Control: When your mum didn't show up for you, it could mess with how you see yourself and control your own life. Wanting to be an adult baby might be a way for some folks to take back some control by letting someone else make decisions for them. It's like you're recreating the lack of control you felt back then.


abdl love

Craving Unconditional Love: If you missed out on your mum's love, you might be looking for


love that doesn't come with strings attached. Being an adult baby could be a way to feel that kind of love – a place where you're taken care of no matter what, even if it's just for a while.



Remember, not everyone who went through early mom-rejection will want to be an adult baby. And not everyone who is an adult baby has necessarily experienced a lack of motherly attention. People handle this stuff in all sorts of ways. If you or someone you know is struggling because of early mum issues, it's a great idea to talk to professionals who know how to help with these things, and you know you can also count with me as far as providing emotional support and discussing your issue.


In my experience, the therapeutic side of my sessions (not to be confused with therapy) has helped some ABs to position towards those feelings of emptiness or to feel more at ease with themselves, just by reenacting with me a situation in the way they would have rather chosen it happened, like going 'back in time' and somehow experience in your body and emotions the 'correction' of what happened and replacing it with what we are doing in the moment.


In one way or another, whatever route you feel is right for you, we can make a difference in understanding and dealing with what's going on and in the quality of life of many people, and I am proud to have supported a number of ABs into feeling better.


I am a message away.


Published in my Autumn Newsletter, now I decided to share this post with all of you

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