Updated: Mar 9
This is a colour classification of different grades and ways I have found people approach their life with infantilism. If this is your case, you will not necessarily fit 100% into one of these categories, but this is mostly a way to help you evaluate your happiness about it, dependency on it and if you would need help with it, or not. I am interested in your comments, so will leave comment open for this blog post, and overtime will be able to add more features and ideas to this.
It can also happen that some days you feel more adjusted than others, so this is just approximate. I hope it helps to reflect on it and open conversations.
I enjoy a lot spending time in little space, and it relaxes me
I can enjoy spending time with an AB carer and don't feel guilty about it
I find there is a supportive AB community I can share my likes with
I sometimes feel contradictory feelings about my wanting to be a little, but nothing I cannot handle.
I have people in my life I can share my AB feelings with that I feel safe to talk with.
If you mostly manage these criteria you seem to be well adjusted and accepting of your AB feelings and needs
I am happy when I am in little space, although not always feel I should do this
I relax spending time as an AB, but sometimes can feel contradictory feelings about it, this can make me a bit anxious but I can mostly handle it.
I feel sometimes a bit lonely as I don't share this with many people, and I worry what my friends and family would think about me if they find out
I go about my life normally without too much worry about it
If you mostly manage this criteria you seem to be somehow adjusted to your AB needs or desires, but could benefit from some support. This could be from a conversation with friends, emotional support from a professional or a licensed therapist or counselor if you feel you would like to feel more comfortable about it.
I am worried about my AB feelings. I enjoy being in little space but deal with quite a lot of shame and guilt
I wish I did not feel this need.
I don't feel confident to share this feelings with anyone I know, and I sometimes can binge buy AB stuff
I sometimes feel the overwhelming need to be cared for and feel anxious if this is not happening
I mostly manage the rest of my life as an adult, although I resent if I don't spend time in little space for more than two weeks
If you mostly fit this criteria, you seem to be in a more challenging place as an AB. You would definitively benefit from having mental health support from a professional. I understand that there are mental health professionals who don't understand infantilism, so it would be good that you make sure you are dealing with someone who does. As far as I am qualified to give emotional support, active listening, coaching and mentoring, I am not a certified psychotherapist. However, it has happened before that a client wants to combine their therapist with talking things over with me, or have asked me for help to speak to their partner, which is something that I can do.
My AB feelings and desires can get overwhelming and be isolated, as I feel very lonely not to be able to share them with anyone
I binge buy AB stuff, store it, then feel guilty and dispose of it, then start again.
I feel like AB is my identity, and I dislike myself for it
I feel inadequate and that nobody would ever love me if I have this need. I don't think I can ever live an adult life
If you mostly fit this criteria, I encourage you to seek mental health support from a professional as soon as you can possibly can. If you don't know how to start and you are in the UK, you can arrange a GP appointment and explain how are you feeling and aim to get the support you need. This link has useful information on what you can do to find mental health support depending on how critical it is. Samaritans is also a good first way to connect with immediate support, as they operate 24/7. I am proud to have trained with them, and have supported a number of cases during my work life.
(*) Disclaimer: nothing in this taxonomy can be considered medical or psychological advice. For a complete and personalized full mental health assessment, you will have to be assisted by a licensed mental health professional.